December 18, 2010

  • Uncomfortable

    This word is pretty much the description of what's been going on for the past 3 months or so.  I decided to write on it after experiencing the a cold winter night not sufficiently wrapped up with blankets before going to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night shivering a bit.  I wasn't exactly asleep, but at the same time I wasn't awake either.  Sound pretty horrible right?  Especially after really waking up the next morning knowing that you did not get a restful night of sleep.

    At the same time, this is how I think about God and Christianity in general.  Perhaps this is the scientist talking, but there's a certain level of uncomfortable that is needed for me to grow, that is a selective pressure.  Too often I get comfortable with tradition, not that it is a bad thing, but being comfortable does not prompt me to new action.  That said, I don't want to be too uncomfortable.  Misery only discourages growth.  The trick then is to find that right level of being uncomfortable, but not forced.  It's not like you need to experience a little bit of wrong before you can be right.  Rather, a recognition that there is a little something more to a story than what appears on the surface.  And THAT is worth digging into.  How does what feels uncomfortable define.....or redefine....what you believe.

    Perhaps the word uncomfortable is a bit negative.  Imagine this.  You are climbing a wall and you see a hand hold that is just beyond your reach to get a really good grip.  But it's there....if only you had a centimeter or two to your fingers.    You can either jump at it risking the stability you have in your footholds, or take a more patient approach.  Are there any other footholds nearby?  Can you step up and reach it at the same time?  Or are you stuck in the footholds you have.  Chances are that you only really need to jump as a last resort.  There are other ways to get to that hold....if that's what you really need.  For me, the courage is to step and reach at the same time.  Many a times I've seen that hold, but was too comfortable with the footholds that I already had.  All I had to do was let go of one of my footholds, trust that my one foot would hold my weight, and step up to reach the next hold.  The times I've done it, the feeling was awesome.  Yes, there was a precarious moment when my body did not feel balanced.  My ears were telling me that not everything is as it should be.  But then I reached that hold, got a new foothold, and everything was stable again (It also helps to have a good belayer too).

    Christianity it not all about Scripture and Tradition.  It is also about Experience and Reason.  True, experience and reason can be faulty, but without it Christianity is static....and that is what I see as part of the problem and the reason for Christianity's decline in Europe and the United States.  Christianity has been, should be, and will be dynamic.  It will always evolve.  Personally, my concepts of God are always evolving.....slowly even...an that is a result of being "uncomfortable."  Does that mean I'm a liberal Christian?  No....I don't think so....I'm just not willing to be constrained by a theology that holes itself up in Scripture and Tradition.  I recognize its value, but in a time when such views increasingly encourage exclusivity rather than openness creates a the tension that turns people away from the Church.....that what I know about God is the right and only way to think about God.  Well.....experience should tell you otherwise.  Scripture should tell you otherwise.  Reason should tell you otherwise.